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I have discussed the idea over the last 16 years whether ot not to write about my past and my recovery. I have met with an English teacher in college who was moved by my essays about my personal experiences to the point that they are my main inspiration to actually write all my my experiences with the development of my cptsd and recovery.

I know as all of you that it is a life long process but my hope is to encourage others who are in the dark or denial to come forward and seek support and recovery. So many people have been affected by so much and to know that there is hope to remake who you are and not stay stuck in the past is inspiring to many, at least that's what others have told me.                                     

I have cptsd from loads of childhood trauma. I recently moved out of my npd parents place to start a life of my own. I tried all the communication techniques my therapist suggested with my parent to try and work with them but the constant lies about the past and blatant denial of what they did and enabled to happen to me would not stop. So I left and am trying to trickle down my exposure to them until I have no contact. I still feel like I'm the one being a jerk for wanting no contact with my dysfunctional family.

It's also still very hard to find the time to sit with my negative feelings about the past and process them. Cbt really has helped a lot and it's going to be a long road to get where I would like to be, hopefully not so triggered and hyper vigalant.