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OK that makes sense. Thank you.

I was diagnosed with C-PTSD in adulthood from childhood abuse and neglect. What board is the one for me?

Is recovery possible? Or is it a case of management for the rest of my life? Is this forever?

Is it possible to suppress the nightmares by self talk before bed eg "I'm tired and I'm going to have sweet dreams." Talking myself into less nightmares over time?
Is it even a good thing to try to suppress the nightmares? Do I need to go through these nightmares to come out the other side? Will suppressing them push the trauma deeper rather than accepting the nightmares as part of recovery? Does that make any sense?

What are these 13 steps?

I get nightmares a lot. Sometimes they are a version of past experiences. Often it's me as a child in my past life, experiencing bad things but not exact memories. Often they are what I call danger dreams where I'm faced with dangerous situations.
I have always dreamed very vivid dreams since I was very young. I remember having terrifying dreams when I was a young child.
Today, some of these dreams come back over and over, building on the previous one. One nightmare happened like this where over time I was not sure what was real and what was dreams any more. For a while I believed that I had killed someone when I was a child but it was not a memory but a persistent nightmare messing with me.

Are nightmares a form of emotional flashback?
When I wake up in the morning from nightmares that relate to my past traumas, I get stuck in a persistent feeling of sadness, heaviness, emotional pain in my throat like I need to cry but I can't and feel distressed when it doesn't go away.
These feelings are me being stuck in an emotional flashback, aren't they?
Are the nightmares emotional flashbacks themselves?

I wrote this in the middle of the night when I was woken by another nightmare.

Waking up in the small hours
Her lifeless cold drowned body
Jerking me to consciousness
My body is cold with sweat
My face dripping
But not with sea water

Pressure on my chest
Sadness in my throat
Tears locked inside
Hit with sudden intensity
Past fears come to life
Intruding on my today

Reaching over my daughter's bed
Sudden awareness of my vulnerability
Spin around to face my partner
"Don't touch me!"
I know he's never going to hit me
But my body doesn't know that yet

On the edge of coping
Can't deal with loud noises
Anger rises
Want to hit something or someone
Don't know why
But it's easier than facing what's inside

How can I help my partner understand what it feels like to be affected by C-PTSD?
I have tried to explain it to him. He doesn't understand. He just sees me being withdrawn, ignoring the world around me and not being able to cope with the housework and caring for our children. He sees it affecting him because he has to pick up the slack. He sees the cost of medication, therapist appointments and yoga.
I want to be understood. Not being understood hurts.