Hi everyone,
Thanks for having me here.
I have CPTSD both from my childhood and from more recent events as an adult. I grew up witnessing domestic abuse and was severely bullied at school, this has always affected my mental health and my ability to form relationships, but I was managing OK(ish!) until my marriage broke down around 5 years ago.
When that happened it seemed to set off a whole chain reaction of rejections and traumas. I lost friends and ended up very isolated, I turned to a professional for support who started an inappropriate romantic relationship with me and became abusive, then I was sexually assaulted by someone I'd thought was a friend. (And of course the Covid lockdowns were in the mix too.)
I think basically the fact that I've never formed especially close relationships with anyone came back to bite me, and then in my desperation I made some unwise choices about who to trust and was taken advantage of.
I now see a lovely, boundaried and very gentle therapist, and it is helping, but I'm feeling stuck. I am still lonely and isolated, which makes my life as a single parent very hard. However, I feel so much anxiety about anything I might do to make friends/get closer to people that it's very hard to change this. The same goes for seeking help from services/professionals.
I'd love to hear from anyone who has experienced this anxiety/isolation cycle and whether you found a way through it.
Thanks for reading.
Winter
Thanks for having me here.
I have CPTSD both from my childhood and from more recent events as an adult. I grew up witnessing domestic abuse and was severely bullied at school, this has always affected my mental health and my ability to form relationships, but I was managing OK(ish!) until my marriage broke down around 5 years ago.
When that happened it seemed to set off a whole chain reaction of rejections and traumas. I lost friends and ended up very isolated, I turned to a professional for support who started an inappropriate romantic relationship with me and became abusive, then I was sexually assaulted by someone I'd thought was a friend. (And of course the Covid lockdowns were in the mix too.)
I think basically the fact that I've never formed especially close relationships with anyone came back to bite me, and then in my desperation I made some unwise choices about who to trust and was taken advantage of.
I now see a lovely, boundaried and very gentle therapist, and it is helping, but I'm feeling stuck. I am still lonely and isolated, which makes my life as a single parent very hard. However, I feel so much anxiety about anything I might do to make friends/get closer to people that it's very hard to change this. The same goes for seeking help from services/professionals.
I'd love to hear from anyone who has experienced this anxiety/isolation cycle and whether you found a way through it.
Thanks for reading.
Winter